so far, in that order.
I am indebted to my brother Brandon "Bang" David Platt who inspired
this conversation.
I've got a word or two to say about creating completion, about being
complete with people.
You can create completion with anyone, whatever happened, wherever they
are, whoever they are, dead or alive, any time you choose.
Speak what you've been withholding. Listen for their answering. If
there's emotion and tears, let them come. They wash your face.
I make perfect cappuccinos. I'd just finished making a cappuccino for
Werner. I presented it to him. He took it from my outstretched hands,
looked at me, smiled and said "Thanks Lar!" (his nickname for me from
the Roman god of the house), took a sip, and turned towards his guests.
He was radiant - serenely happy. His eyes brimmed with tears.
He was - I could see - literally moved to tears by his
guests, people who invest their time, their money, and their lives to
be with him. When Werner says he is "touched, moved, and inspired" by
people he means it at a level which for the most part that whole
carefully crafted macho facade precludes. We're shrouded
by the injunction "big boys don't cry". Whether you're a man or a
woman, "big boys don't cry" is you. When I look I see what that
withhold costs me being open and vulnerable, being approachable.
What big boys don't do, real men are free to. The realer the freer.
I've come to realize if I can't cry I can't laugh. If I can't cry I
can't empathize. If I can't cry I can't love. If I do those things
without ever crying it's usually because I'm not playing full on. If I
can't cry (the entire sobbing tears and snot catastrophe if necessary
or simply getting misty being touched, moved, and inspired by human
being), all my Self Expression is muted to the same degree.
How ironically human to go so far down that road perpetuating the
facade. It costs us time. It has to come undone eventually.