I am indebted to Curt Hill who inspired this conversation.
I am love with you.
Wait! Did you hear me say "I am in love with you"?
Look again. That's not what I said.
There's two things to get here. One, if you heard me say "I am
in love with you", notice your already always listening
regardless of what was actually spoken. Two, "I am in love with you" is
a concept; "I am love with you" is an experience.
The overriding assumption of life in the universe as we know it to be
is "This isn't it!". Or as Werner distinguishes, life is a
game in which what isn't is more important than what is. A corollary of
that assumption ie what goeswith it is I have no love to
start with (as
Alan Watts
may have said), and if I don't get love from you, I get none at all. At
worst, that's one strange state of affairs. At best,
you're in good company if that's how it is for you. You have no love. I
have no love. Yet we revel in whatever it is we call love that we, each
having none, give to each other.
To be sure, when you and I get love that way from each other, it's one
of the best things there is, one of the redeeming features of life as
we know it dragging on at this petty pace. That's what we mean
literally by being in love: that rare,
indeterminate yet delicious state in which I having no love am warmed
by you also having no love, each putting our no love in the space
between us in which we both then
swim
(hence the expression being in love) yet having no real
mastery over causing it nor having any of it left if either of us
doesn't want to play any more.
An entirely new possibility for love is called into being when I take
responsibility for my experience. When I look at my experience of love
I see love, the state when things are what they are and aren't what
they aren't, as my source. I come from it. I am it. At first that
seemingly most obvious of all obvious realities eludes me. Yet as I
look at it I notice (double negatives aside) it can never
not be that way.
Coming from love I bring love to relationship rather than looking to
relationship to give me love. Love is my source. Love is where I come
from. I am love. Love is your source. Love is where you come from. You
are love. I am love and you are love. I am love with you.