I am indebted to Lucy Green who inspired this conversation.
It's been said so much it's nearly trite, almost a
cliché: if transformation were easy, the whole world
would be transformed by now.
Transformation, contrary to what we wish and hope and would like it to
be, isn't a state or a condition or a
permanent high. It's an ongoing act of word, an ongoing
spoken creation. To have it, you speak it over and over and over and
over and over again. Then, when you've done that, you speak it over and
over and over and over and over again some more. Sorry about that. It
doesn't simply happen by itself. Even if it peeks,
surprisingly, titillatingly, out from the shadows teasing to be known,
it won't stay. If it doesn't stay it's not transformation. If it
doesn't stay, at best it's a peak experience.
Transformation is quite deliberate. Like any deliberate act it ends the
instant it's no longer created. You could even say transformation is an
unnatural act. Life, by itself, doesn't provide
transformation. It's not your birthright. There's no guarantee of it.
It's not promised to every human being. In this sense, you could also
say transformation is unfair. People cue their lives off the
occurring world ie the way the world occurs for them.
Ironically that's an almost surefire way to never get and to not
provide for the possibility of transformation. It's deadly, in
fact.
For possibility to become real, it requires an interruption, a
decisive interference in the way things are already
turning out. For transformation to become real, it also requires an
interruption, a decisive interference in the way we're already
experiencing things.
I'm speaking with a friend who seems quite certain we
(that's her and you and I) can't interfere in the way things are
already turning out - without help. By inference she's also
implying we can't interfere in the way we're already experiencing
things. She says help can only come from God. In essence I don't
have an issue with her assertion. What I let pass, for the time being
at least, is she hasn't yet distinguished who she really is ...
and ... until she distinguishes who she really is,
she's really barricading herself away from having an
experience of God, settling instead for a common (albeit
well loved and widely held) concept of God.
She's adamant, quite vociferous actually, when she says there's a hard
line separating man from God. In her belief system unity
is out of the question. In her interpretation it's not
even possible to have blurred edges. Sinful little man down
below. Judgemental big God up on high. And ne'er the twain shall
meet. That's it.
She's the way people occasionally get when expounding on man's true
nature: imposingly righteous but, assuming it helps, in an
endearing way. I love her zest.
She argues enthusiastically. Her point of view, based on
blind concept rather than on distinguishing experience,
gives her a charmingly naïve sense of certainty.
She challenges me. "If you're God, even if you're only one
with God, then create me a tree!".
"OK" I say, looking around slowly, carefully taking in the splendid
forest in which we sit. I see a majestic Douglas Fir at least a hundred
feet tall. I point to it. "That one!".
She's silent for a moment. Then she says: "But that one already exists.
Create me a tree - like God does.".
I point again to the Douglas Fir. "That is the tree I
create. God only creates what is.".
She ends the conversation right there, not responding, sitting safely
in the saddle of her belief. She doesn't continue because if she
confronts bringing the light of direct experience to bear on her
belief, her belief will disappear. In and of itself, that's not
inherently something to be concerned about. It simply comes back to the
deliberate act of transformation. Beliefs and concepts
aren't deliberate acts.
When I look from my experience I see God only creates what is. That's
when I see all the struggle and effort is what I add. I suppose you
could say when you realize that, you're saved. However,
transformation doesn't require that implication or that belief system
or that concept or that interpretation or that context.